Friday, April 6, 2007

Stop! IN the name of the LAW

When I did my Big 50 post my #2 was that I get along great with my in-laws. Really, we all get along great. It is so sad to me when I see that people don't get along with their in-laws. I feel like they could be missing out on a fantastic relationship. I guess I've never seen anything differently. My parents (who are still married after 29 years) get along great with each others parents. My dad was there for my mom's parents when my grandfather was very ill and dying. He was there to reassure my grandfather that he would help take care of my grandmother. (My mom only has sisters, so I think my grandfather worried that things around the house wouldn't be taken care of.) My dad still to this day looks out for my grandmother. And he does it with a smile on his face...even when my grandmother has called him for the 3rd time about a particular problem. He's sees that as part of who she is, and he deals with it. In the same regard, I've only seen my mother treat my father's parents with complete respect. She's there for my grandmother when she needs someone to talk to. And she'd help with anything they needed. I'm sure that part of my life experience has been molded too by the fact that I've never dealt with divorce in my family. My paternal grandparents are still married after 49 years (and many problems) and 7 children. My maternal grandparents were married almost 45 years before my grandfather passed away. And like I said my parents are still married too. I think that is awesome! I feel so blessed for this too.

OK, my in-laws. They have been married for over 29 years now. Their parents (now all passed on) were married for a long time too. My father-in-law has always been a caring soul. He's a quiet shoulder to cry on whenever you need one. He's fun and likes spontaneous adventure. My mother-in-law is a dear person. She is very kind to everyone. She would give you the shirt off her back. She goes out of her way and lives to do things for her family. They have both always treated me as one of their own children. They have shown me nothing but love and respect (even when they don't agree with me).

Now, I have to tell you a funny story about my mother-in-law. We don't hear from her very often, unless we reach out to contact her. She is afraid that she'll interfere in our lives. I've told her before that she would NEVER do that. And she wouldn't. She's afraid of doing it, though, because of how her mother-in-law was when she first got married. Her mother-in-law would call EVERY night and asked what she was making "her" son for dinner. Did it include meat AND potatoes? From what I hear she just liked to step on my mother-in-laws feet for those first few months of their marriage. So, she in turn is afraid that she might be that way to us. But like I said, it is not part of her to act like that.

We made it VERY clear to them when I was pregnant that we expected them to be involved in our child's life. We didn't want them to think they needed to walk on eggshells around us. We've never given them any reason to do that. And they have been great since we had Zachariah. We see them a little more often now.

My father-in-law thought I was a bit overbearing with Zachariah when he was an infant. (I was, by the way, and I knew it.) He told me that he'd said this to someone. He felt guilty about it later, and he came and apologized to me. He said none of that really mattered, because he knew that I was a wonderful mother. That was so nice of him. I appreciated it. I really fussed over Zachariah when he was a baby. (Who am I kidding, I still do.) I didn't care what anyone else said, because that was just the way it was going to be. I will probably be that way with the next one too. Maybe I've lightened up enough that it won't matter the second time around.

Anyway, I think you get the idea about my in-laws. They have always welcomed me with open arms. I know they would do anything for me. And most important of all, they have prayed for me and my family. And through them God will bless us. And He'll bless them for being the saints they are.


desperate housewife said...

Your parents in law sound awesome. Mine are pretty great, too. I can't really imagine any better situation, really.

Kelli in the Mirror said...

What a blessing. Good inlaws are such a wonderful thing to have.