I just heard wonderful news. A relative of mine is pregnant! Babies are always fun. She has a son who is 3 weeks younger than mine. They, too, had problems getting pregnant with him. She was actually on fertility treatments, but then decided to take a month off. That's when she got pregnant. It was fun being pregnant together, and now our little guys have fun at holiday get-togethers. Unfortunately she isn't someone I'm around much, so I will probably miss most of her pregnancy. She's due around Thanksgiving time. I'll probably meet the baby at Christmas.
As exciting as this is, it makes me feel more depressed than happy. :( Silly, isn't it? Part of this is explained in the posts I'm putting together in response to Swistle's posts about baby spacing and how many. I don't want to ruin those posts for you. I am still working on them. They are issues that I care a lot about, but I have a hard time communicating my feelings on these matters to it's taking me a while to construct the post. Just know they are coming.
Anyway, back to my point. I feel happy/sad about learning that this relative is pregnant. I am happy for her (oh so happy that it didn't take long to get pregnant again). I am happy about a new baby in the family (even if it's extended family). But I always feel momentary sadness when I find out someone I know is pregnant. Most of this stems from my own fertility issues (to be talked about more later). I hope that when we're ready to try for another one, I will get pregnant right away. Only time will tell.
Then the other issue is that I AM READY FOR ANOTHER BABY! If Matt said let's go, I'd be trying to get pregnant tonight (in a manner of speaking). That doesn't mean that everything in our life is ready for that, though. Since Matt is looking for a better job, we will most likely be moving in the near future. Matt is nervous at the possibility of me being pregnant when we're moving. Also, as far as baby spacing, I'm not sure it's the right time yet. I'd be happy if it happened, but I don't know what my ideal is. (I think this relative will have a hard time. They kids will be about 19 months apart.) AND, I'm trying to lose some weight before I get pregnant again. Although I could be trying harder.
I'm hoping that we'll know when the right time is for another baby. Then I know everything will fall into place. I just don't want to wait too long. In the meantime, I'll send a card to my newly pregnant relative to congratulate her. And I will be waiting anxiously with her to meet and hold her precious new baby.
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4 comments:
We are not quite ready for a new one just yet, even though Harper is almost 2 1/2. I hear you on the happy and envious front. I have four pretty good friends who are pregnant right now and while I'm not sure I would want to be pregnant right in this moment I always feel a little tug of envy when one of my good friends is. Sigh. . .
Congrats to your girlfriend!
When it comes to pregnancy, I don't think you're ever fully prepared for what is to come - even if you think you are. And I also think you're always more prepared than you think you are. 9 months is a lot of time to prepare. When the time is right, you'll know. Good luck!
I am happy about my friend's pregnancy more today. I just need time to process it, I think. That's how it goes for me. Glad I'm not the only one who goes through that though.
I felt envy about pregnancies before I was even married! And I imagine I'll feel that way in my heart even when we're ready to be done having babies. I'll know in my head I want to be done, but my greedy reproductive hormones will keep saying, "Baby, baby, baby!" forever.
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