Tacky

So, Swistle asked us to tell about tacky weddings. I have lots of stories of things I find tacky. Also behavior at the weddings (not necessarily the bride or groom) that was tacky. So, here is my list of tacky things, and a few good stories for your enjoyment.


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Most recently my sister Rachel got married last summer. It was a beautiful wedding. Our other sister, Mary, was a bridesmaid. At the rehearsal Mary was there. But when we all got ready to head to the rehearsal dinner Mary broke down sobbing. Several of us went to her right away to see what was wrong. She gave us this big sob story about how her little nephew (her husband's brother's son) was sick and they didn't know what was wrong and she was sooo worried about him. Mary is a bit of a drama queen anyway...always has been. So she says that she doesn't think she and her husband will make it to the dinner, because they'd like to get home and see how baby Kaden was doing. Now, mind you, this was a really nice rehearsal dinner (complete with a privately hired magician for entertainment) that my sister's in-laws paid for in advance. And they'd paid for Mary and her husband, because they had previously said they were coming.


Then (oh, that's not all) Mary's husband did not make it to the wedding. We all stayed at my parents' house the night before, so there was no reason for him not to get up. Us girls left early to get our hair done, but Matt was the last to leave the house and he peeked in the bedroom and told Tony he was leaving for the wedding. Tony had PLENTY of time to make it. So after the ceremony, Mary is going crazy calling everyone she knows trying to find out why Tony wasn't there. (Because he's a stupid jerk you silly girl.) At this point she's worried and in tears. I was trying to keep her calm and helping organize pictures and other things. Finally someone called us (as we were on the way to the reception) and said Tony showed up there. He was there when we got there. He refused to go into the building, because he wasn't wearing something nice. He claims he didn't have anything nice to wear. Uhh, what were you thinking you were going to wear to the wedding that you promised your sister-in-law, the bride, that you'd be at?! He waited outside for Mary to go in with the wedding party. She stayed for about 5 minutes, then left because Tony didn't want to stay (this is typical behavior from them, but that's for another post). I thought Mary and Tony's behavior the whole weekend was TACKY!


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Then there was their wedding (Mary & Tony's) the year before. Their behavior was tacky the entire time. Talk about wedding drama. First of all they got engaged the day the rest of the family was traveling to North Carolina on vacation. So, she had to call all of us and tell us about it...which is fine. But, Rachel's (now married) poor (then) boyfriend had planned to propose to her while we were on vacation. He felt bad that her younger sister got engaged before her, so he proposed the next day on the beach right after we arrived. It was sweet.


As soon as we got back from vacation, Mary informed us all that they want to get married right away...how's July for you? It was about 4 weeks away. None of us understood their rush (still don't, other than she didn't want Rachel getting married before her perhaps). My mom talked them into have a church wedding and nice reception (what was she thinking). My mom did a great job planning it. Unfortunately Mary never really appreciate everything that my mom and everyone else did for her. She could have really cared less, and sometimes that showed.


OK, on to the truly tacky...the morning of the wedding the 3 of us girls had hair appointments. Mary had the first appointment, and Rachel's and mine were 1/2 hour later. So we were just going to see her at the beauty shop. Mary called us 10 minutes before her appointment saying she'd just woken up and could one of us go take her appointment. OK, sure, since I just got out of bed too, and it's 10 minutes to the hair salon. I hurriedly got around and went in just in the nick of time. When Mary got there she started arguing with Rachel. Before we left Mary got a little *ahem* mean spirited (sorry, I don't cuss). So bad that the poor girl doing her hair was giving us these uh-oh-what-is-she-thinking looks behind Mary's back. Rachel, being tired of the attitude from Mary, finally said her piece and we left. Exhausting! Our dad had to keep telling us to let it go, and let's just get through the day. What a way to feel at a wedding where we're supposed to be celebrating Mary, and she's the one causing all the drama.


The wedding went on...not to badly. Mary was very mean whenever I offered ideas for pictures. So, she didn't get that many pictures (and was rude to my father-in-law who was the photographer). At the reception they just kept to themselves. Aren't you supposed to mingle with your guests at the reception? Isn't that the point? To go around and thank people for coming? Not at theirs. They stayed at the reception long enough to eat, cut the cake, dance once, and then load up their friends' cars with the gifts and leave. That was the shortest reception I have ever been at. They were entirely selfish and rude. And from what I hear they then went back to their place for a beer bash/bonfire with their other "friends". Rachel was invited, I was not. I didn't even care. She knows I would not have gone, and I probably would have given her a lecture about it.

I almost forgot. Up until the day of the wedding, we did not know if Tony's (the groom) parents were even coming to the wedding. So, my parents graciously offered to host the rehearsal dinner. They invited everyone out to a nice Mexican restaurant. Mary and Tony ignored almost everyone but Tony's two buddies. (BTW, this was on my birthday. I was a little upset that I was being forgotten. Thank you Matt for at least taking me out for lunch.) After everyone ate Mary and Tony were ready to leave. Everyone else was having fun relaxing and talking. Dad mentioned something to them about dessert they'd ordered for everyone. So, they begrudgingly stayed put for a little longer. Come to find out, my sweet father had ordered a special birthday dessert for me and something for everyone else too. He wanted to celebrate my birthday. Before everyone was done with dessert, Mary and Tony left. Thanks for celebrating my birthday with me, HA.


I'm sure I could tell you about the other horrible things that happened there, but I'll stop there. The wedding/reception itself was not too bad, only because my mother would not allow that. She always puts on a beautiful wedding. ;) As you can see, I had some serious issues with this wedding even happening in the first place. I had a bad attitude the whole time. A week later, I found out I was pregnant. Maybe that's why the horrible attitude. I suppose not entirely, because everyone else had it too.


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Last summer my sister-in-law, Carol had quite a wedding. To start with it was outdoors with the mayor of a small town who married them. The reason for this: they couldn't agree on a church or person to do the ceremony. Matt's dad is a Methodist pastor, but Luke's family is Catholic. Matt's family wanted her to get married in a church, even if her dad didn't do the ceremony (we had him do a small part of ours). Luke's family wanted him to have a big Catholic wedding. Carol was completely against a big Catholic wedding, because she is not Catholic. I'm not against an outdoor wedding, but it was done in this case only because they couldn't agree on anything so they settled for nothing.


The rehearsal was horrible. The mayor could not be there. Carol and Luke did not know the order or service or what they even wanted. I ended up coordinating the whole wedding that night.


Carol was strange at the wedding. After the ceremony she was acting really different. She was outgoing and talkative and completely not herself. She's usually very quiet and shy. She was outgoing and friendly to the point of annoyance. She was either high on something or drunk. I'm guessing high. She kept gushing over and over how great it was that everyone was there. And she kept oogling over my baby. (I just kept thinking stay away from him.)


On to the reception. Matt's/Carol's parents refused to buy alcohol for the reception, but Luke's family insisted on it being there. So his parents bought all the alcohol...and plenty of it. I'm not opposed to drinking, I just don't like to be around a bunch of drunks. And that's exactly what the bride and groom were half-way through the reception. Carol was so bad that she kept falling on her butt. I mean feet out in front of her and flat on her bottom. Again and again. She did it during the bouquet toss right on the dance floor. Then did it several other times. Well, the DJ starting poking fun at her. Then about 10 minutes later she was at the bridal party table crying, because the DJ was embarrassing her. Her mom came over and told her she'd had more than enough to drink and should back off. Oh boy, it was interesting.


Drunk bride/groom TOTALLY TACKY! Why ruin your wedding night like that? I don't get it.


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My cousin and her new husband held up the reception because they were "smooching" in a room somewhere. (Just an FYI, they were virgins before they got married, so I don't know what was happening but I suspect just kissing because they were probably saving the rest for that night. I could be wrong though.)


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When the pastor asked my cousin's bride if she'd take this man..., she shouted "You betcha".


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The dollar dance at almost every wedding I've been at. And once I saw them do an "auction" dance. Almost the same as dollar dance, except only 2 people actually got to dance. You purchased a ticket for the chance.


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Pregnant brides. Especially once they are showing.


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Flower girls/ring bears that are too young to be forced to stand in the front for the whole ceremony. (At least have someone near the front who can come get them.)

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Fake flowers that aren't done well.

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Long, gross, make-out kissing.

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Cake smashing in the face. Rude, mean, and tacky.

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I was once at a wedding where the bride (who was pregnant and showing) smashed cake in the groom's face and ran. When they did the garter toss, he took a can of silly string up in her dress with him and paid her back that way. Eww.

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Oh, I almost forgot...not sending thank you cards! That's the worst one to me. These people care about you enough to come and spend this special day with you AND shower you with gifts, at least send a thank you note. Doesn't have to be fancy. A quick personal note will do.

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I'm sure there are many more things that I find tacky at weddings, but I think I've told enough stories for one day.