Thursday, July 26, 2007

It's not about me

When Matt comes home in the evening, I want very little from him. And I ask almost nothing from him. What I want the most is just for him to spend some time with Zachariah. The kid spends all day, every day with me. He sees his daddy less than 2 hours each night during the week. And that's not taking into account that there is something going on that particular evening that takes Daddy away.

Zachariah is too young to understand that Matt sometimes has other things to do. And somehow I find myself hating when I say the following things "Sweetie, Daddy's busy come play with Mommy for now", "Daddy has to do something right now, he'll play with you later", "Let Mommy do that for you, Daddy is busy".

The truth is that Matt has more time to spend with Zachariah then he does in my humble opinion. For instance he will go to the office to pay bills and keep up with the back account. I love that he's interested in takig care of the finances, and he does a great job with it. But, he could do this after Zachariah goes to bed. He likes to go to the garage to lift weights for 10-15 minutes, but this could wait. So many little things like this, he could wait to do.

He does spend time with Zachariah. He loves to take him outside for a little while each evening. He usually lets Zac help him water the garden and flowers.

But Matt will sit and use the computer while I take care of bath time. I do baths every. single. night. I don't mind too badly, but it's something Matt could pitch in and help with to spend a little more time with his kid. He has never offered to do baths. I don't mind taking care of that, but geesh, he could offer once in a while. I just feel like he's missing out on too many things.

Being a great father is good. Matt is a fantastic father. I guess being a mother is different. I don't understand why he just won't spend more time with Zachariah. After Zachariah goes to bed, Matt generally does nothing. He sits and watches TV or plays games online. So I know he has time to do all those other important things then. I suppose maybe it's enough just to be near Zachariah. Maybe that's different between us. I don't get it. Truly it's not about me, though, it's about our son.

***This is one of those posts that I used to vent. I'm not even sure I should post it. But it's my blog, and I can complain if I want to.


Anonymous said...

Oh. My. Gosh. I could have written this word for word. Except substituting "Maddie" for "Zachariah." I have actually had to say the phrase "Honey, I know you have other things to do, but sometimes, Maddie has to be the first priority."

Dads are a totally different species than moms, aren't they?

Mommy Brain said...

I feel your pain. Send your husband to this blog:

It's the father of QUADS plus one who takes care of bathtime because his wife has been with the kids all day. (I asked them both if it was true and he really does take charge of bath time!)