Friday, June 22, 2007

Because he wanted beer

I have noticed a change in myself since becoming a parent. Well, really there have been many, many changes, but this is a big one. And it's not even directly child related. I am learning to be more assertive. How being a parent changes you #759.

Here's the scene: I was going to pick up pizza for a late dinner after putting Zachariah to bed. Noticing there was no more beer in the house, I offered to pick some up for Matt. He told me specifically what he wanted. I got to the store, and I could not find the kind Matt had asked for. I saw bigger packs of it, but not a smaller one. I stood there and looked around a minute of so. It was messy and hard to see everything, because there was an employee restocking there. Then the employee asked if he could help me. I said yes and told him what I needed. He looked around and spotted it. It was behind a bunch of things, so he offered to get it for me. Good. He gets the beer out and hands it to me. When I looked down at it I realized it was the "light" version, which is not what Matt requested. My first thought was just to take what he'd given me and run, because I knew Matt would drink it anyway. Then I thought, No, I am NOT going to do that. So, I told him this was not the kind I needed, and if they had the regular kind I'd prefer that. So back over the boxes and crates he went to get what I needed. And they had it, and I happily bought it and left.

Now, this may seem like a silly little thing to you, but this was huge for me. I hate confrontation. I will even eat a meal that I didn't order at a restaurant, just because I don't want to mess with the hassle of it all. I have seen myself change in this aspect over the last year or so, and I think it's mostly due to being a parent. I've learned that I have to stand up for my child and myself as a parent. Now I see this trickling into the rest of my life. I might still eat something I didn't order, but I'll definitely think about that next time.

What made this really funny is that when I got home, I told Matt about what happened and how proud I was of myself. He laughed and said "I would have just taken what he gave me the first time". Ha, I know. He's as bad as me. But if I'm getting better, maybe he can too.


Mommy Brain said...

Go you! My parents are way too assertive when it comes to getting good service in a restaurant, etc. I hated it (so embarassing as a teenager) and went way too far in the opposite direction. I think I'm finding a balance too. Plus, us mama bears have to be assertive enough to stick up for our baby bears.

Jennifer Playgroupie said...

I'm the exact same way! Maybe I should take a cue from you a be more assertive.

Beer works it's magic again!

desperate housewife said...

Way to go! We're not assertive about a lot of things, but I know if it was a beer issue, Jim would have had no problem with that situation, ha!

jen said...

I am definitely more assertive in my old age, possibly having to do with kids! We're just shaping up to be complainy senior citizens!

I also think a lot of my own assertiveness has to do with having a much lowered tolerance for Putting Up With Crap (from 2 and 3 year olds)