Monday, April 28, 2008

R is for Relationship (bonus letter day)

SaLy has asked me a great question.
My letter is R for relationship. How did you and Matt end up together? What is
the story of MD and Matt?
Although I know I've answered some of it in various posts. I'll still tell you as much of the story as I can here. It's rather uneventful, but I'm OK with that. It was just meant to be with Matt and I.

As I mentioned in another post, Matt and I first met in junior high through a mutual friend. He was a pretty puny little guy then. I didn't notice him too much at that point. That was in 6th grade. In 7th grade we had a few classes together and we were both trumpet players in band together (which would be a big part of us being together). In such a small school, we did see each other often, but I didn't really give him a second thought. By the time 8th grade came around, we knew each other pretty well. We were involved in different things together and had several classes together. In one class he sat behind me the WHOLE year and picked on me NON-STOP. He picked to the point that one time I got in trouble (while taking a test in class) because of him picking on me. I turned around and told him to STOP IT. Then I got "the eye" (you teachers know the one) and a warning from the teacher not to talk while the tests were out. I still rub that in with him. Ha! Anyway, but the end of my 8th grade year I liked Matt a lot, but he was involved with my friend.

We spent a lot of time together that summer because of band. His "girlfriend" was a year younger, so she was never around. We developed a strong friendship, and I didn't mind that he was with my friend. The fall of our freshman year in high school was much of the same. We were good friends, we saw each other a lot. And he quickly broke it off with my friend. (We are still friends with her. She was one of my closest friends in high school, and she and Matt were still good friends too.) This was when I went to a dance with Jeremy. But otherwise I was having a good time with friends and just enjoying my entry into high school. I wasn't too worried about having a guy around.

In December of our freshman year in high school, Matt asked me "out". My first instinct was no way, I'm not ready for that. I consulted one of my closest friends, Jamie. She had known Matt for a lot longer than me. She thought I should not hook up with him, he was not right for me. I took this decision very seriously, and I made Matt wait for an answer for about two weeks. Then I came to my decision, I didn't want to ruin our friendship. (I still have a poem I wrote to him about just being friends. Mostly I was afraid if we dated that we couldn't be friends afterwards, and I really valued our friendship.) But for some reason at the last minute, I figured why not. So we started dating.

We were pretty shy around each other. We were good friends and talked a lot, but we weren't very touchy-feeling or anything like that for quite a while. We went to a lot of things with our families, probably mostly because neither of us could drive (he was 15, I was 14). We participated in each other's church youth groups and other things. The next fall Matt got his drivers license and access to a car. We were practically inseparable. I don't think he kissed me for at least 9 months. We were OK with taking physical things slow.

We had our ups and downs all the time. We had a lot of mutual friends, so we weren't away from each other often. Matt was a big flirt, and that caused a lot of hurt for me. I didn't get why he needed that attention. But he never meant anything by it. Looking back I now see that I was pretty flirty with other guys too. There was one friend (at least) who I did flirt with quite a bit. (In fact I remember saying something about this guy recently, and Matt had no idea that we were so flirty with each other. I think we mostly did it when he wasn't around.) But we always knew that we didn't want anything other than each other.

The spring of our junior year in HS was when Matt talked me into going on one date with "the other guy". I knew right away we would not work out and were better off as just friends. Matt and I became really serious with each other after that. I think at that point we knew that we'd be together forever. We each pursued our own career/college options our senior years preparing for the next year, but we never spoke of taking a break. We just knew if we could make it through college, then we'd be set for life.

We went to separate colleges and were lucky to see each other for a few hours on the weekends. Though we made a point to at least chat online for a little bit each night with each other. In the spring of our freshman year in college I went with my family to Paris, France. He really missed me while I was gone. I think at that point he knew he was going to marry me. We talked about it a lot that year. We'd glanced at engagement rings and dreamed about what if. We knew it was coming, but we just didn't know when yet. Our goal was for at least one of us to be finished with college and have a good job, then we'd be ready to start our lives together.

Matt and I took many little day trips as often as we could. We would go hiking for a whole Saturday, then shop and eat out together. We loved those times together. We'd started making it a tradition to take a hiking day trip around his birthday in October each year. It was a great time to see the fall foliage and enjoy one of our last chances to get out before it got too cool. I was shocked and amazed that on that day (during our Sophomore year in college) when Matt proposed. Up until then we'd talked about our future, but not with definite dates/times. He knew I didn't want a long engagement. 9 months - a year was about my maximum. So when he asked me to marry him, I knew he meant soon. We decided on the next summer. We were both still in college, but he'd just gotten hired at a full-time job that had a good future. (He is still working there today.)

So in the summer between my sophomore and junior year in college, I married Matt. July 29, 2000 is a date I'll never forget. We had a fairly simple wedding, but it was beautiful and we had many of our family and friends there. Matt still had one more year to go on his degree, but he was working full-time and taking classes in the evening. I continued going to school full-time and didn't work for a while. It was a great time for both of us. And the rest is history....I suppose.

I know there is probably plenty more about my life with Matt that I could share, but this has been long enough. If there is something more you'd like to know, just ask and it will be sure to help me tell more about our lives together. It's hard sometimes in one post to know where to start and stop. But I think each thing like this gives you more insight to who I am.


Anonymous said...

This is just about the sweetest story I have ever heard.

Anonymous said...

I think this is every junior high school girl's fantasy. At least, it was mine.

I had the same boyfriend from 6th grade through my senior year. I fully expected to marry him, but alas, it wasn't to be.

Thanks for sharing this with us. It's very romantic.

Jana said...

What a sweet story! I'm sure your kids are going to love hearing it when they grow up!

d e v a n said...

Very nice story!

saly said...

I like hearing another story about a couple who has been toghether forever like me! I was 15 when Hub and I got together.

Mommy Brain said...


Cordy said...

Your story made me cry. Probably because I'm in the middle of an awful crush on a good friend.

I wish my story would turn out like yours, but I don't think it will.