Thursday, February 8, 2007

Low end of the totem pole

I came home last night (after tutoring) to Matt feeding Zachariah in his high chair. After I took all my layers of warmth off (it's really cold here), I went past said baby. He took one look at Daddy after I walked by and turned to look at me and started bawling. He was sad! Dramatically so with the huge tears and sobbing and screaming. I came back in the room and asked him what the problem was. He looked at Daddy again and back at me and continued to cry. Matt told me that he'd (the baby) been crying since they got home (about an hour). Matt had tried playing with him, watching TV, feeding him, giving him drinks, changing him, and nothing seemed to make him happy. Until...Mommy picked him up out of his high chair. Then he gave us this big happy coo. Boy, that made Daddy feel awful.

I don't know what to do. I feel bad that Matt has to feel bad. He said "I don't think he (baby) loves me." That made me want to cry. I told him that wasn't true. But for the rest of the evening, Zachariah would not go to him. We sat and played on the floor, and he was happy for a while. He was only up another 1/2 hour before bedtime, but it was all good (except for the ignoring Dad part).

Do I spoil him too much? Is it bad that I'm with him all the time? I really don't know what to do. I don't even have any suggestions for Matt, because he tried everything that I would have with an unhappy baby. Now you have to understand that 4 days a week they spend an hour without me, because I go tutor. This has been happening since Zachariah was 6 months old. Shouldn't they both have adjusted by now? I guess they haven't. When we first started this arrangement I even gave up singing in the church choir, because it was so hectic when I came back home in the evening. I couldn't see leaving for another 2 hours after that...even once a week. I figured by now I could go back to choir, but I'm sad to say that I have not. I'm hoping that these two boys will figure each other out soon.

Any suggestions or ideas on why this is happening? It's not this bad every night, but last night was pretty bad. It makes me want to stop tutoring, but that's not really an option. I do enjoy it, and we need the little bit of extra money. Matt is a wonderful dad, and Zachariah does love spending time with him. In fact on Friday nights (when I don't tutor) and Matt comes home from work, Zac goes to him first thing. Then when Matt picks him up, he turns to me and waves bye-bye. He's content with Daddy and doesn't want me for a while. So, I really don't get this. Help!


Swistle said...

My goodness, isn't that baby the spitting image of his handsome daddy?

I think this happens with a lot of babies. Mine always prefer me until about age 18 months, after which they prefer their dad. It isn't because you spoil him or because he doesn't love his daddy, I'm sure of it. They just go through Mommy Stages and Daddy Stages, and he happens to be in a Mommy Stage right now. Just keep doing what you're doing, and before long he'll be crying when Daddy leaves the room.

Kelsey said...

I'm not sure I can help with your question. My two-year-old is alternately totally in love with her dad or me, but mostly likes us all to be together. Cheesey, but true.

Anyway, I saw your comment at Swistle's blog and had to stop and say hello because I am also a mostly stay at home mom in Ohio. I am a licensed teacher. I tutored for some extra money until I started grad school. I am also married to a man named Matt. . . cue the Twilight Zone music now.

We are in the Dayton area.

Mommy Daisy said...

Swistle- Thanks, he does look like his daddy. He has from Day 1. Some people think he's taking on a few more of my features, but I'm ok with however he turns out. He's a cutie, and I can't help but kiss his little chubby cheeks all day long! *On to the subject at hand. Thanks for the encouragement. I hope that he does get better.

Kelsey- That is terribly eerie! We are in Lima. I will definately check out your blog. Thanks for posting.