I ran into a sorta-friend at the store the other day. We were making casual conversation about kids and other things. I was surprised that none of her 3 children were with her, but she told me she was lucky that her husband was home today. He let her go run errands on her own. Anyway, I was asking her how old her youngest was now. He just turned 6 months (which doesn't seem possible). Then she asks me how much my son weighs. I told her what he weighed at his 9 month check-up and what I estimate he weighs now. Then she goes on to tell me that her son weighs almost at much at his 6 month appointment. He is already wearing the same size clothes as my son. She almost seemed concerned that he's so big. He's only in the 70th percentile for his age. I don't think that's a huge baby. My son was in the 38th % last time, hence the nearness in size for the boys. She continues to explain the both of her girls were smaller than that, which is why she is baffled at the larger boy. I told her there was nothing wrong with his size. He's an adorble, healthy baby. And part of it is just a difference between the way boys and girls grow. It's just funny how different babies can be.
My point is...why do we as mothers/parents always fall into this comparison game? If it's not about size, then it's about developement. I usually try to stop myself from doing this. Like with this mother, I told her he's such a healthy kid. Who doesn't like a big chubby baby anyway.
Do we all have a need to make everyone see that our child is the best? I tell people about my baby mostly because I'm so excited about him and the things he's doing. But then I wonder if I come across to other parents as "pushing" his abilities on them and trying to "show them up". Does this make sense? I see it happen a lot. How can we help it? How can we be sure that we're not seeming to gloat?
After all that questioning - here's a photo of my little one.
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2 comments:
My kids tend to be tall--90th percentile or higher--and developmentally a little late. Both things are totally within normal range: just, high end of normal height, late end of normal development. And I totally know what you mean about comparisons: not only do I get a TON of "He's HUGE!!" and "He's STILL not walking??," I find I get nervous when I see other people's kids doing things ahead of mine--even though I know straight from the pediatrician that there's no cause for concern.
I don't know why we all seem to do this, but I think it's positive that we KNOW we do. Some of the people who make thoughtless remarks are the ones who DON'T know--or who haven't noticed that it's totally normal for babies to come in a range of sizes and to do things at different times.
Ha! I totally relate. Addy didn't walk until she was fifteen months, so, only about two weeks or so ago. I was so worried about it, even though I tried to shrug it off and be blase. And now I know it's fine, she walked when she was ready to and not before, that's all.
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