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Monday, March 30, 2009

Well, Don't Wait Too Long

What is that supposed to mean? "Well, don't wait too long?"

That is what someone told me last night. She had asked if we planned to have more children. I told her "Yes, someday". She laughed and said "Well, don't wait too long." I didn't respond.

What can I say to something like that?

I don't even really know how to respond to "Do you plan to have more children?" This isn't the first person to ask. I usually respond the same way.

If I was a snarky person, I'd just start saying things like "Well, we'd love more children, but some people don't get pregnant as easily as others." or "We'd love more, can you snap your fingers and make me pregnant?". Or something equally as good.

But that's not me. What also is not me is revealing all the details of my life. I don't typically tell people that we're trying to get pregnant. In fact the only people that know are you, my lovely blog readers, and my sister, Rachel. That's it. I just don't feel like this is something I want everyone to know.

Most people that know us pretty well, know that it took us a while to get pregnant with Zachariah (this lady who I spoke of earlier probably didn't know that). But we didn't really tell people that we were trying then either.

What do you think? Is this something I should be more candid about? Or should I just develop a better answer for nosy people? Suggestions?


jen said...

UGH rude people! A bigger person than myself might give her the benefit of the doubt and just assume she's speaking from her own experience? That was very rude of her to say out loud! I don't think you need to be more candid if you don't want to be. A smile and a "thanks for the advice" (bonus points if you say "assvice" :) ) or an "okay then!" You don't seem the sarcastic type. Sigh. People just don't think about what they are saying :(

Pam said...

I think I've met her! When I was pregnant a woman in line at the supermarket asked me loudly if I was going to breastfeed. I was so flabbergasted I mumbled something and got out of there. Some people shouldn't be allowed out of the house.

Alli said...

I would just smile and say something like, "Well, that's something that's not completely within our control." Or, "If it were that easy, it'd be done already."

Some people (myself probably included) just say things to make small talk without knowing all the circumstances.

The Workman Family said...

Ugh. I usually just smile and nod. However, I liked your comments. She would hopefully have the decency to be embarrassed and apologize!

Nowheymama said...

I used to go with something about "it's God's timeline, not ours."

andria said...

I'm catching up from spring break.

Thanks for the DVD. We do love FS and can't wait to see it.

Our first two are 4 years apart. Everyone was convinced Jacob would be an only child since we didn't have another before he was two. I got lots of comments from friends, family, and complete strangers. It made the wait to be pregnant that much harder. We almost gave up. But it is God's timeline. I waited a long time for Adam and he was so worth it. I eventuallydid get to where I would tell nosy folk that we had tried everyway possible and it just wasn't happening. The subject changes quickly then.

Jana said...

Ugh. I got comments like that, too, when were trying for #2 (16 cycles). I would usually say, "Thanks for the tip," and then run off to a corner and cry. So, I'm guessing that my approach isn't exactly what you're looking for. I like the God's timeline answer: it pretty much answers their question and keeps them from asking again.

Sarah said...

Just tell them you're going for at least five years apart so you'll always have the older kid/kids in school by the time the next baby comes along!
And by the way, Jim and his younger brother are seven and a half years apart, INTENTIONALLY, and they got along, and continue to get along, great. Hardly any rivalry at all since there's such a gap. So there ARE big benefits to having space, too.

Deleted said...

Sorry to be on the opposite from everyone but from what I got this lady was just making a comment out of the sake that she didn't know what else to say either. It totally sounds like something I would mumble to someone (stupidly apparently Just because this is how it would go for me (being that lady to you)

Me: So you plan on having more kids (because you have one already)
You: Yeah someday (because you don't want the image put out for someone to think your having sex (LOL, I silly)
Me:(Thinking we were going to talk about planning a baby already and so on until you said not till later and I have nothing to follow with it :)) Uh, oh.. well.. (scarcastic trying to be witty way) Don't wait to long :D

I suck. Sorry tried to make you feel better about the situation :P
But that is how I kinda saw it, I wouldn't worry about it you know me I'm worry about the baby thing and I shouldn't (doesn't really help with actually planning the baby if we're stresses :D
Good luck still hun! xo

Melanie said...

I always say something like God-willing, or something to that effect, although sometimes I do get snarky and then I just end up feeling bad because they didn't necessarily mean to be rude, they just caught me on a bad day. And usually my snarkiness doesn't lend itself to an easy/nice apology!