Friday, November 12, 2010

I Told Him...

I told Matt I was going to write this. I did! He's had fair warning.

Matt's gotten into the blog scene pretty heavily too. He reads a lot of mommy bloggers among others. He has a review blog of his own too. And I know he reads my blogs. I'm OK with that.

Just this evening he read something that a lady had posted. She said something to the effect of "don't you wish your husband couldn't read your blog, so you could write snarky things about him?"  When he read this to me, I said "Yes." Then I told him why. Why don't I just tell you my complaints. I'm sharing them, because I think that you'll be able to commiserate with me.

So, maybe I've shared this before. Matt is a great cook. Amazing! He has skills in the kitchen that I couldn't begin to imagine. I can cook. I can bake. I like to cook and bake. But Matt likes to cook too. And since he's good at it and thoroughly enjoys it, I encourage him to get in the kitchen once in a while when he can. This amounts to about once a month now.

This sounds wonderful you're thinking. Well, it is. Except...he refuses to do dishes. We do not have a dishwasher (nor can we put one reasonably in our kitchen). I am the dishwasher. When I make supper, I wash the dishes. When Matt makes guessed it...I do the dishes.

The problem is Matt likes to make elaborate multi-step dinners. This means many bowls, pans, dishes, etc. That means more dishes for me. Something is not working out here. Shouldn't he at least do the dishes when he cooks. Or if that doesn't work, he can do the dishes when I cook. Come on! I'm tired of washing dishes.*

While I'm on the subject, I did stop putting away Matt's clothes about 4 or 5 months ago. I'll hang his dress clothes in the closet, wash his clothes, fold his clothes, take them to the bedroom, but that's it. He always fussed about not being able to find things in his drawers. My organization didn't make sense to him, and his didn't make sense to me. So I just plain stopped putting his clothes away.

Sometimes I feel bad about not doing it, but I don't sweat it too much. I know it gives him an extra chore, but it has seriously saved arguments and hurt feelings since I stopped doing it for him. Sometimes we give, sometimes we take. I guess those are the things that make a marriage.

What chores do you and your spouse argue over?

*Truly, I don't mind dishes as much as I say I do. I can handle it, and it's just a pain sometimes.


Anonymous said...

Funny you bring this up b/c we just discussed it (again) last night.

I stopped putting away my husband's clean clothes close to 2 years ago. He is still bitter about it. It was after we moved and I didn't know where he kept anything and it was just easier. I do ALL other aspects of laundry so I didn't think it was a big deal, but he still feels put out about it. I am not going back, though.

Jana said...

Love this post!

I almost always do the dishes, but in return, my husband gives our rowdy boys their bath. He hates dishes and I've hit my limit of kid time by the time dinner's over, so it works for us.

Also, I don't put his clothes away, either. You know, I do almost everything else around here so I figure the least he can do is put his own clothes away. I mean, our seven year old puts her clothes away - why can't he?

Fran said...

I loathe emptying the dishwasher! The boys have started to do it instead of me but then I get asked "Where does this go?" 5000 times! I am the main dish-washer around here and when hubby does them they tend to still be dirty. I can also fit a lot more in the dishwasher than he can. I used to hate vacuuming but since I got my new one I don't mind it as much. Hubby mops. I recently stopped putting his clothes up too. Still get VERY mad when I have to gather them though....
Lately since I have been working so much during the week when he is off, I have wished he would start doing more in the house. He says he will. Actions speak louder, my dear.

Pam said...

He cooks I clean, he does DIY projects I clean up after him, he NEVER throws his dirty clothes in the laundry basket - always the floor. Do you see a trend here? He's messy! BUT he builds things, fixes things and does the big jobs, so I'm more than cool with the arrangement :-)

CAQuincy said...

Big mistake! You got me started!

DH does not do dishes. DH has cooked a handful of times EVER. DH used to help me dust, but he hasn't done it in YEARS. DH does absolutely NO cleaning in the house what-so-ever. DH does not put away his clothes. Amusingly, I did not REALIZE this until about a year ago when HE brought up the fact that I'm always leaving piles of clean clothes all over our bedroom. "Why don't you just put them away immediately? It only makes sense?" Um...because they are YOUR clothes, and YOU should be putting them away ???? Yeah...all those years that those clean clothes piled up until I couldn't take it anymore and went ahead and finally put them away for him--he just thought *I* was being lazy! Go figure!

But...DH does the OUTSIDE work. What irritates ME is when it is leaf-raking or weed-pulling time, and he thinks I should go out and put in a share of the work. But! I have mountains of laundry and dusting and mopping and vacuuming and the three children to's YOUR job, darnit!

MightyMom said...

seriously, ever since my husband became the stay at home parent and took over ALL those chores he griped at me about not doing to HIS satisfaction.....our life has greatly improved!

there really is something to be said for walking a mile in another's shoes before you gripe about their shoelaces being untied!! (or something like that....)

my hubby reads my blog....I wish he'd comment more often actually. We'll even post things and then go tell the other to read it! ;-)

River Glorious said...

Hello... Just peeking in and wanted to comment, although I'm a stranger here.

When I cook, my husband does the dishes. When he cooks, I do the dishes. Sometimes he will go ahead and help me, even though he has cooked.