Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Oh Poo!

Otherwise titled "How to relieve constipation, Zachariah style".

#1 - Don't poop all day. You wouldn't want to mess up a diaper.

#2 - Eat lots of grapes, apples, and other "binding" agents all throughout the day.

#3 - Get all excited when Mom mentions bath time. Do a little dance in front of the bathroom door even. She'll see this as your cute way of anticipating a fun bath.

#4 - Get undressed and then refuse to sit on the potty.

#5 - Get in the tub and then refuse to sit down in it.

#6 - Enjoy the feel of the warm water on your bum.

#7 - Let the urge to poop take over.

#8 - Resume the squat position and grunt and groan loudly.

#9 - Scream like a banshee when Mom tried to take you out of the tub to put you on the potty. Hold your legs, so she had no choice but to put you back in the tub.

#10 - Grunt a little more until you feel relief.

#11 - Now that you feel better, go ahead sit down in the tub and splash away.

#12 - Ignore Mom with she fishes out the poop with a cup and flushes it.

#13 - Throw a fight when Mom drains the water, starts a shower, and rushes you through a bath.

#14 - Wait one night and repeat.


Anonymous said...

Gee, sounds like fun times at your house. I'll have to bookmark this for future reference.

jen said...

at least you didn't overreact and sanitize the tub with 50 applications of 100% bleach like some bloggers I've read! good job on staying calm and humored! ;)

Sara said...

that is hy-freaking-sterical!!

Devan said...