Tuesday, September 30, 2008

My happy place

So, that last post was really a downer, wasn't it? Wow. Pretty heavy. Seriously, though, I appreciate all your advice and input on my situation. Most of you encouraged me to follow my gut/heart. That's what I'm trying to do. But right now I'm a little guarded.

You see, before she sent the e-mail the next day, I was going to wait until Monday and then sent an e-mail putting out some feelers. Well, after the e-mail she sent, I didn't feel like doing that. I still don't. And several of you mentioned waiting a few weeks. I thought I'd want to talk to her sooner than that, but as time goes on I'm leaning towards that anyway.

And yes, you are all right, it was very immature the way she acted. I don't know if I want that in my life. If I do make amends with her, I will always have a more guided approach with her. I know it won't ever be the same again. There is very little that I held back before, but I know now there will be a lot I don't discuss with her.

So, here is my plan of action for now. We'll see what happens. I will wait a week or so, then send my friend an e-mail. I will tell her that I'm upset that we're not talking, and I really miss her and want to know if there is anything I can do to mend things. Then I'll pretty much leave the ball in her court. We'll see where it goes from there.

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Aaaand, on we go...

Today when getting lunch around for my son, I had a realization. I am pretty happy with my life the way things are. Of course there are things I want to change from time to time, but I'm just happy right where I am. I have a lovely husband who cares so much about me. My son is at a great age where he is learning so many things, is very helpful, and is funny as can be. I just love it. I love being a mom and wife to these two wonderful men. I'm glad that I have the opportunity to do the things that I do.

Every day things may not always be the most fun, but overall it's a good life for me. I'm just plain happy. What more could I ask for?

I'm determined that the rest of my posts this week will be happy happy things. Because that's what I want and need right now. If you know/knew me in real life, you'd see that I'm a very happy person. I usually have a smile on my face no matter what else is going on. That's who I am, and I just want to be me.

10 comments:

Alli said...

Good for you!! Glad you have a great out look on life. That helps tremendously when something comes out of nowhere and knocks you down.

Nowheymama said...

I'm glad you're happy with things, but it's OK to vent to us anytime you want!

d e v a n said...

Sounds good to me. :)

Saly said...

Good for you! And you are most definitely a better person than I am. :)

Jana said...

I'm glad you're having a better day today. I read yesterday's post but didn't have time to comment. I am so sorry about your friend, but like someone else said, it sounds like there's a larger issue than the IM conversation. It's probably something that you have nothing to do with and she just took it out on you (I'm just guessing because you seem too nice to have done something to wrong her). I hope you figure out a solution to the situation.....

Cherish said...

Thats great that you feel so happy right now! What a great way to be.

Pam said...

I'm glad you're feeling happy about life but I can tell the friend thing is going to niggle at you for a while yet, maybe until it's sorted out.
I had a sort-of similar situation about 5 years ago and we don't speak. I spent about a year agonising over it and finally realised that she always made me feel bad about myself and I don't need that kind of friend in my life. So I concentrate on the great friends I have. I wish her no ill harm and if I saw her I'd be friendly, but I don't ever want to reconnect - I've outgrown her.

desperate housewife said...

Sounds like your friend just needed some drama and decided to make a bigger deal of this disagreement than it was. I know a LOT of people like that. It is not fun, though fortunately usually I can stay out of the way of direct fire, but I get spillover drama all the time! You're doing the right thing here- just hold your head high and stay above it!

jen said...

how have you been doing? Haven't seen you "around" lately. I know why you'd be busy but I thought I'd ask :)

Jennifer, Playgroups Are No Place For Children said...

This post is so timely. I admire that you look for the good, I should take your lead.

I read about your friend and I'm so sorry. I recently had a small falling out with a friend...totally MY fault...and I've tried making amends, but I know it will never be the same.