Here I am, blogging from McDonald's PlayPlace. The best place to blog right? Not really (I had a photo of my "happy" face, but I can't get it to load). There are toddlers running around everywhere. I just figured if I had to take Zachariah here, I may as well do something while I'm here (and we're only here thanks to a gift card that Zachariah got in the mail from my aunt for his birthday). Besides, I really wanted to get a new blog post up today.
I feel a bit neglectful. I've been copping out on real blog posts and using giveaways to fill the space. Well, I had the giveaways to do anyway, so why not. But still, I have no intention of turning this blog into a giveaway blog. I am entertaining the idea of starting a separate review/giveaway blog, but I'll let you know if/when that happens.
I've had a rough week. There is no one particular thing that makes me say this. Just several little things that make me feel blah emotionally. That and I have a cold. We all know that doesn't make anyone feel their best.
Things have felt rather "funny" (for lack of a better word to describe it) to me at work (my tutoring job) lately. Just a lot of things that felt like they added up this week. I don't think I really want to work there anymore. But for other reasons I will continue on for now.
I normally try not to let things get to me. But this week has been different somehow. I guess it just happens every now and then. I'm hoping it will improve.
I have been having thoughts about wanting to quit my job, so then I can just be a full time stay at home mom. That's basically what I consider myself, since I'm only away to work 2 hours a day 4 days a week AND my son comes with me. But it sure is not the same. I think I'm worn out and tired of it. I have to get Zachariah up from his nap most days in the middle of the afternoon. Then he's a bear the rest of the day. I can't make my family dinner most nights, because I'm not home when I should be preparing it. Matt's a great cook, but he's getting tired of that too...I can tell. And mostly I'd just like the freedom to do a little more when we want to do it. Right now I'm pretty set to going to tutor at the same time each day. Then there's the whole question of our summer tutoring schedule, and that gets really crazy.
I guess Matt and I will have to discuss it some more. I know he understands my feelings on the matter. Honestly he's probably mentioned more times than I remember about me quitting in the last few months. His raise at work put us in a pretty good situation financially, but I love that we're going to have all our student loans paid off soon at the rate we're heading. And that's what my income (small though it is) is working towards. There is a possibility that Matt could get another step raise this year yet. If that happens, and depending on how much it is, we may be in a great position for me to leave my tutoring job. We'll just have to see.
I think I said more than I really wanted to about this whole thing, but I just had to get some of it off my chest.
Then there is the whole trying for a baby thing. I'm a bit frustrated that it isn't happening yet. I know it will in time (took us a while with Zachariah), but I was really hoping it would be easier this time. And Matt goes from not wanting more children (though he's willing to try for me) to wanting more than one more (yay!). I guess I can't fault him for having different feelings about it. I know he will be happy with another baby, and most times that's what he's telling me he wants right now.
I'm just tired of being patient.
OK, end venting. This is why I haven't had many real posts lately. I'm afraid all I'd do is whine, and I don't want to do that all the time. Hopefully next week will be a better week.