Feeling blah

Thanks for the comments on my last post. It was a bit long-winded and annoying. But I was in such a bad mood that day. I'm better now, but I've been feeling really blah lately. I've been just dealing with things from day to day while I'm feeling this way. Today I realized that I should try a new approach. I need to find the things that make me happy that I can do for myself and DO THEM. DUH! I have so much to learn from Swistle. I love how she knows herself pretty well and can avoid this sort of thing by doing what she needs to get through.

After I posted last, our program director from the center where I tutor called. She was so stressed out and busy and was checking to be sure I was coming in. I knew she needed me more this week, because half of our staff is away this week. She also asked me to work more on Thursday, plus the field trip on Wednesday and Friday. I was already unhappy that I had to work on Friday (I don't usually), so her calling me all stressed out made me more stressed out...like I needed more. Then I went to work. I let my friend (who is the center director- above the other lady and my friend long before she hired me) know I was a bit stressed. She is one of the most awesome people I know. Anyway, I let her know that the other lady was just stressing me out (even more than I already was) and I didn't understand why she was worrying about things that didn't really matter or really affect me. My friend told me I didn't have to come in early today if I couldn't or didn't want to (so I didn't, I worked my normal 2 hours today and it was fine). But while I was talking to her about everything, I cried. I just couldn't help it. I think I just let my emotions get the best of me. But I think I needed that, and she is so understanding and it helped.

Today I told Matt that I'd been feeling a little blah lately. Not enough to think I'm depressed, but just a little down. I promised I'd let him know if I got worse or if I got really frustrated with Zachariah (which I'm not at all). In fact I can't believe how great Zachariah was on the zoo trip with the kids yesterday. He loved it and was fantastic all day. He didn't even get a nap, then went out to eat with Matt and I later, and stayed up past his bedtime. He was so pleasant and fun (more than normal). That made me feel good. And I found out today that the field trip for tomorrow is cancelled and I don't have to work after all. Whew, that lifted a weight off my shoulders. Maybe I will have more time to unwind and do things at home.

So after realizing that I'm a little down, I started thinking about what I could do to feel better. Some of these I've done, some I have not yet.
1) Eat a hot lunch
2)Drink Mt. Dew- I don't like coffee, so this is my caffeine drink
3)Be around my family a lot
4)Keep my kitchen counter clean
5)Keep clutter picked up- which is sometimes more work, but when it's done I can rest easier
6)Chocolate
7)Yummy snacks when I need them
8)Sunshine-luckily the weather's been great lately
9)Sleeping in a little when/if I can
10)Reading a good book...or two or three
11)Not being on the computer all the time- this is really the first I've had it on in 48 hours
12)Watching a fun show that I like on TV/Internet
13)Flowers in the house
14)Lots of hugs from my baby and husband
15)Putting my feet up when I feel like it...or getting out my foot spa and soaking them for a while
16)No fuss dinners...or eating out when possible
17)Writing letters to friends
18)Allowing myself time to just relax and do nothing if I need to
19)Chocolate...in any form
20)A good movie for no reason in the middle of the day
21)Good company to visit

This is a list I just thought of. I was trying to find things that make me truly happy. I have done some of these already...chocolate, Mt. Dew (sugar high?), flowers, TV shows, no fuss dinners (taco salad tonight)...and the rest I think I need to work on while I'm feeling this way. It will pass. Maybe Aunt Flo's visit (for the first time in 3 months) triggered it. Maybe it's the beginning of this busy summer. Maybe it's my upcoming birthday (am I feeling old already?). Who really knows. I guess I've just realized it doesn't matter why...it happens, so I'll deal the best I can.